In the Yoniverse workshops, I often compare love making to surfing….

and women to the ocean.

It came about after a man commented that “women are always changing” and that it makes it difficult to know how to pleasure them.

I know it will make a few of you with vaginas smile. 🙂


Always changing? Like you mean our hormones are not straight-line all month long???


Just to reassure you, the fact that we are changing so much is bewildering to many of us at times, especially in a world that support consistency over change.

I think many of us would rather not experience all the changes that we are having with our body, emotions, energy, libido, etc…

But that’s what makes us women, and to reclaim and embrace that part of ourselves is a journey that I know many women are on.


Also it is good to remember that Change is actually one of the law of nature.

Everything changes… There is a cycle to everything…

We are like nature…

We are Nature.

We are the weather, we are the ocean…


As a surfer, part of the fun is to go check the waves. I don’t expect them to be the same EVERY single day…

I just know that’s how it is…. The waves are different everyday and I am not making a fuss about it.

I don’t say that when I’ve had a VERY good surf and the next day the swell has dropped, I am not a little disappointed but I still go out and often still have fun!!!

I think this is one of the thing I love about surfing, you can’t predict it. It has been the hardest sport I have ever started. It requires your own physical ability but it’s also about timing and about learning to read the ocean .

And that’s when the analogy with female sexuality and pleasure becomes exciting.

You just can’t touch a women in a certain way every single time and expect the exact same result to happen.

When connecting with a women you really need to be totally present and to read her and her body in order to ride the waves of pleasure with her.

If you move to quickly or too slowly, you are just going to miss the wave. 😉

I often say making love with a woman is like when you get on the wave, you have to be fully there and responding in every moment to what the wave is doing. You can’t plan what you are going to do before even the wave coming. You can have an idea of what you would like to explore and try but at the end of the day, it’s in the moment that it all happens.

When you can embrace the rawness and unpredictability of a woman’s sexuality, it opens so many doors for you.

Then it’s not something that you have to work out anymore but it can be something you get excited about every time.

What will you uncover this time?

I think too often sex become predictable and that’s what kills it a lot of the time.

It doesn’t have to be though.

It just requires being open and curious.

PS: I love riding the waves of pleasure of my man too btw

If you would like to learn more about women’s anatomy of arousal make sure to check out our Yoniverse workshops. We have events for both men and women and offer them all over Australia.

Words by Elise Savaresse

Elise is the Co-Founder of the Yoniverse and you can read more about her here.

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