Love, sex and romance…
You can love your partner very much, and you can even have a great connection, and great sex… but it doesn’t mean your relationship will last…
What you need to keep your relationship passionate in the long run is ROMANCE.
Ok I am French, so I am a natural romantic…
I have been fed romance since a very young age, so I might be a bit biased. But hear me out for a moment.
To me, romance is like the fire that keeps the love and attraction pot boiling.
It’s the daily, weekly fertiliser that is going to take your relationship from ok to incredible.
Love and sex need to be nurtured – and they are with romance.
Romance is the different ways that you express your love, your desire and it is the foreplay to incredible sex…
Tony Robbins says that we have 6 human needs, the first one being that we need certainty.
So in relationships, we need to know we are safe and that our partner is going to be there for us, right?
But we are paradoxical humans, so not only do we have a need for certainty, we also have a need for uncertainty!
Just to make things a little more complicated!
By uncertainty, Tony means novelty, something that is different from our daily routine which make life interesting. How boring would life be if we were certain of everything!
That’s when romance comes in… to me, romance feeds our need for novelty and excitement.
It’s the spice of our intimate relationship.
Romance is like fresh new energy that you circulate and that activates the desire or feeling of deep love between you and your partner again…
It’s a breath of fresh air, it’s a rush of energy in your body.
Love is the foundation, and romance the fire that makes it burn more brightly.
Esther Perel, who wrote the book Mating in captivity: Sex, Lies and Domestic Bliss, says that she counsels couples that the fundamental aspect of desire and yearning can be recreated by injecting mysteries, distance and planning erotic “other than vanilla” sex escapades.
This is what she recommends when the spark needs to be Recreated… What if it never had to go in the first place.
What if both partners were fully taking responsibility for creating an epic relationship.
I believe romance on a regular basis would stop this desire and yearning from dying…
What I have noticed is a killer in relationship is PASSIVENESS.
Letting the days go by without resolving the issue, without getting involved, without starting the conversation,without taking responsibility for being the one who might be able to make a difference, without creating magic and excitement…
You just can’t be passive in relationships, well not if you want a thriving, sexy as fuck, passionate relationship.
Too many of us, get into relationship and somewhere along the way get comfortable.
However if you get too comfortable, you might be heading towards a relationship disaster…
Life is not just about comfort, it’s about adventures and this is true in the bedroom too .
So how can you bring romance, excitement, fire and desire into your relationship?
Romance is defined as a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love.
How can you surprise your partner?
To understand romance, you need to understand your partner.
You need to look at them, and see what makes them tick and then surprise them with that. It’s giving them what they would be afraid to ask for. It’s showing them you have seen them.
This is very powerful because we can know we are loved… but when we feel truly seen, something in us breaks open…
Romance is also about setups, it’s creating magic or spiciness in the life of your partner.
One day, I rocked up to a partner’s place for a planned dinner wearing a 50’s dress and I acted out that my car had just broken down on the way to a dress up party and I was wondering if I could borrow his phone to call the car… He totally played the game and we had such a sexy night.
Role play brings so much spice into your relationship. Meet somewhere and act as if you are meeting each other for the first time… This is one of my all time favourites.
PLAY is a big one… Life is foreplay, if you do not bring playfulness into your life, you are going to become an old, stiff and grumpy person… like seriously!
You could learn to give each other Tantric Massage and bring this into the way that you connect with each other.
Be creative… Anything that would make your partner go OMG, are you for real!!! Go for that!
As I said, I am French, and we are born to do anything for love!
And also I can’t promise this will resolve all the issues you may have in your relationship, but it will for sure bring some lightness and fun into the mix!
I would love to hear from you. If you have romanced your partner in the past and would love to share your story with me, I would love to hear it. Please send me a message at firstname.lastname@example.org.
So much love and pleasure,
If your relationship is needing a bit of a boost, here are 2 options for you:
- In November, we are running our couples retreat.
This is 4 days of delicious intimacy, tantric massage and sensual exploration. This for sure will spice up your relationship, and give you new tools to take home and play with to create a lot of desire and fun between you and your partner.
- As Esther Perel mentioned, sometime distance is what would benefit your relationship. Distance creates sexual tension.
Now, I am running a retreat for women in June in Bali where they will dive deeply into rest, pleasure and play… I know that after these 7 days, the women who attended will be different women.
Women who know their desires and own them. Women who will be rested and excited to get back out into the world, and fully savour life.
So whether you are a woman and would like to remember what it feels like to be sexy as fuck, or whether you are a man who would love to feel your woman coming back owning her sexy as fuckness, here are the details:
The Path of Pleasure – June 11th to 17th, 2018
Elise Savaresse is the co-creator of The Yoniverse.
She has been deeply involved in exploring Conscious Sexuality and Intimacy for the last decade.
She has an online program for women supporting them to reconnect with the power and wisdom of their Yonis, and she travels all over Australia and overseas offering workshops and retreats for men, women and couples.
Her vision is to support men and women to experience the beauty and sacredness of sexuality and have thriving relationships.