You know how the wonderful women at the Yoniverse and I are always going on about Yonis?


Of course that’s because Yonis are magical and amazing…. but I’ve got a different non-vagina related treat for you today.


I thought it was time to share a bit about the Lingam.


Lingam is the Sanskit word for the male genitalia – the penis. (Yoni, as we know, is Sanskrit for the female genitalia). It also means ‘wand of light’. In neo-Tantra terms, it’s a symbol of the penetrative force of creation, or the masculine consciousness.


The Lingam (and men’s sexuality) isn’t the focus of the Yoniverse workshops – although it is highly featured in our Yoniverse Couples Retreat – however, that doesn’t mean it’s less important than the Yoni in any way.


In fact, in many ancient traditions there’s an emphasis on the incredible power of Lingam and Yoni coming together through intimacy.


For those in heterosexual relationships, you might have noticed a special depth of connection with slow, deep penetration where the tip of the penis is in contact with the cervix. In the Taoist tradition, the tip of the penis and the opening of the cervix are both correlated with the heart – and it is believed that a deep heart connection can be created through the physical joining of these two parts of us.


I think that’s especially beautiful because the opening of the cervix is where the sperm goes in, and the tip of the penis is where sperm comes out – so it’s the exact spot where the transfer takes place – the birthplace of creation itself.




Lingam Massage is a beautiful type of massage that men can receive from their partners – basically the men’s version of Yoni Massage. Most men have never experienced a good Lingam Massage, but it’s often a mind-blowing experience for them when they do.


Why? Because Men are used to having their lingam stimulated in quite a specific way – if you think about the kind of sensations that might arise from a oral pleasure or penetration or even a regular hand job – there’s often a focus on the goal or ejaculation and a kind of up and down motion.


There are all kinds of amazing sensations and experiences that men don’t get a chance to feel when their partners are rushing for the ‘finish line’, or focused on getting him somewhere.


My favourite thing about Lingam massage though, is that because it’s not about ejaculation, it supports men receiving it to drop deeper into their own sexuality, to discover more of who they are AND to open up to different kinds of pleasure and orgasmic states.



Here are my tips for giving a mind-blowing Lingam Massage

(Men, feel free to pass this on to your partner or future partner!)



The best Lingam Massage is not purely about technique but about the energy and love you put into it. Find a way to fully honour your partners Lingam in such a way that he feels like nothing else exists. Really see his Lingam as glorious and powerful. Touch his cock as if it’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen and you’re blessed to be able to touch it (because it is, and you are! ;-))



Don’t fall into the trap of going for a goal or trying to make something happen. Give him a different experience – explore all the different ways you can touch his Lingam. (Ideally prepare with a bit of a whole body massage, then use coconut oil on the lingam so you’re sliding well). Twist in different directions, vary the pressure and speed, try different strokes…. even if he’s soft it doesn’t matter. Get feedback from him on what feels interesting / good.



When you focus too much on stimulating the Lingam, you’ll build tension, leading to ejaculation. There’s nothing wrong with ejaculation of course, but it does prevent men from experiencing whole body orgasm. During the lingam massage you can use one hand to touch his chest and spread the sexual energy and pleasure through his whole body. In my experience, men are much more likely to have whole body orgasmic states during lingam massage than penetrative sex – it’s a place where they don’t need to perform but get to just feel and enjoy.


So go forth and give your partner some luscious Lingam love!




On that note – if you’re in a relationship, our Yoniverse Couples Retreat in November will be an epic guided journey of intimacy, with a big focus on learning (AND practicing!!) both Yoni Massage and Lingam Massage as well as Tantric bodywork generally.


The art of Tantric Massage is definitely THE most profound technique I’ve found for deepening intimacy and revitalising our sex life – and Elise and I would love to share it with you and your partner.


We keep these retreats small, and this one is filling fast!! There are just a few spots left for willing couples to take their intimate life together to the next level, so do let us know ASAP if you’re interested!


Curious? Check out the details here.



Bonnie Bliss is the co-creator of The Yoniverse and facilitates the Yoniverse Couples Retreat with Elise Savaresse. She’s also a Somatic Sexologist and the creator of ‘Yoni Mapping Therapy – The Bliss Method’ – a holistic pelvic wellness modality for women. Passionate about all things pleasure, Bonnie currently resides in Thailand where she’s sipping coconuts, dancing, working on an online course for women and finally starting to write the book she’s been dreaming about for years.


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